Barbara Clark

Mom, Can You Hear Me?



Posted: Thursday, November 22, 2007

by
http://www.spiritedstrides.com

There once lived a sweet, sensitive woman, who worried a lot about every little thing, and who pla
nned for the future. She was a very devoted wife and mother and took great pride in her cooking. Somewhere in the last few years, that woman became lost in a sea of confusion and this story had to be revised. I know that deep down in her soul, she remembers and hears me, although it appears most of the time that she doesn't understand what is happening now, even though she's the major actor in this life script. Mom, can you hear me?

It's been a long year, watching you quickly fall into the depths of dementia, becoming unable to care for yourself in the way that you always took pride in, unable to pay your bills, make sound judgments, and to read the books you once enjoyed. It's been painful to watch you slip from the very social and inquisitive person you once were to a mild-mannered, hesitant personality who was so afraid to talk for fear of showing her forgetfulness to the world. It's been difficult to see you slip further into your current state of confusion about what time we are in, where you are living and what just transpired two minutes ago. I cannot hang onto you. You fell into that well too fast and too deep and my hand cannot reach yours. Mom, can you hear me?

I sit and watch your childlike face, in anticipation and excitement, as if getting ready to taste some delicious candy for the first time. You whole-heartedly take in all around you, yet are unable to place it all into a timely context. I ponder how it must have been for you when I was a little girl and am perplexed that the roles are now totally reversed. Can you understand that I am here? I know you hear my words, but can you hear me, Mom?

Do you remember, Mom? Do you remember the way we used to fight over little things when I was a teenager? Can you hear those words, Mom? Do you remember how sorry I was? Do you remember all those endless summer nights playing marbles with Dad? And what about the beautiful weekends at the cabin fishing? Do you remember never catching a fish? Does it make you laugh inside? Mom, can you hear me?

What about all those occasions of playing cards with the Clarks? Can you hear the laughter? Do you remember all those dances with Dad? Can you hear the music? Do you remember the endless seasons of Hawkeye basketball? Can you hear the cheers? Do you remember the players who were like sons to you that you held so dear in your heart? Would you know them if you saw them now, Mom? Mom, can you hear me?

I sit and watch you confuse the identity of your two grandchildren, who you always spoiled so much with all those extra little things you did to make their days. Then I watch you figure out which one is which. I sigh with relief and comfort in knowing that you still know who they are. I am grateful and pray for more days like this one. I look at my children and praise God that they have each other and affirm in my prayers that I will always have my memory of them. Mom, can you hear me?

Do you remember that Dad died, Mom? That was over six years ago already. I know that it may seem like yesterday to you and you often think he is still here. Perhaps you really do talk to him, Mom. What does he tell you? What does he think of all of this? Do you want to be with him again? Is that why you are not getting better? Are you letting go and giving up? Mom, can you hear me?

I am comforted in knowing that you are safe where you are now. You are happy and well-cared for, even though you pack everyday to go "home." Are you longing for that place where our family can be together again? Are you thinking that I will come and get you and take you "home" to be with Dad?They say that "home is where the heart is." Where is your heart, Mom? Mom, can you hear me?

I know where your heart is, Mom. Your heart is with your family. We will always be a family. No amount of confusion, dementia or physical limitations can take that from us. Our family will always be "at home" through the love in our souls. The memories are in the love, Mom, embedded into our hearts. Even when the brain doesn't remember, the heart has an endless memory. Rest assured that it is all going to be ok. We are "at home"through the memories of love imprinted into our souls. Mom, can you hear me?

Yes, I know you can and I am at peace in that knowing.
Barbara A. Clark has been a professional in higher education for over 25 years. She holds a Master's degree in Counselor Education and completed all course requirements for a Ph.D in International Comparative Education before several life-changing events interrupted her studies. It was during the interruption that Barbara discovered her passion and began her journey as The Spirited Strider. Her motto is "serving in love, one step at a time." Barbara is an educator, writer, law of attraction life coach and speaker, and uses EFT with clients who are willing. In 2010, Barbara became a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader and a faculty member at GoodVibeUniversity, where she leads "Giggle Fest & Manifest," "Making Room for Abundance," and occasional "Scripting" and "EFT" calls.

Blogs:Journey of A Spirited Strider

The Gab of Gratitude
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