Giving From The Heart
Posted: Sunday, November 16, 2008
by Barbara Clark
http://www.spiritedstrides.com
I have always been the type of person who feels compassion for people I see on the streets begging for money. I cannot imagine what it is like to be homeless or distraught to the point that one has to resort to begging on the streets. Having traveled to many places, including quite a few foreign countries, I have seen this face of humanity all too often.
Some years ago, I had a very moving experience on a New York subway with my kids. A very skinny man stumbled onto the subway. On first look, many may have thought that he was drunk or drugged, but upon a second look, where he very intently came up in front of me and my children and showed us his stomach, we could see that he was all bones. This man was starving to death. He could barely speak and noticeably was very weak, making it difficult for him to stand. Out of his mouth came a faint whispering of words that said, "Please help me! I'm hungry!" These words will forever stay with me, along with that image of his boney, weak frame, tattered clothes and unshaven face. But what I really remember vividly are his eyes: eyes that soulfully yearned for someone to help him; eyes that asked, "Won't somebody care?" ; eyes that captured my heart and the heart of my children; eyes that quickly drove us to tears for this man.
While my children have always been very compassionate towards those less fortunate, this encounter was different from others we had previously experienced. We all felt it. We were the only people from that subway car that gave to this man. We were the only people that he made intense eye contact with, too. It's as if the man was sent from above to see what we would do. We honestly thought he could have been Jesus: the experience was that profoundly moving for us. I will never forget those eyes: his desperate cry for help and, looking back on it, I felt as if he somehow knew exactly how much money I had in my wallet.
I had some $1 bills and a $20 bill in my wallet, but chose that day to give out the $1 bills. My heart knew this man needed all that he could get, but I found myself second-guessing such a big amount, thinking to myself how I wished I had a $5 or a $10, but not a $20 bill and so I hesitated and gave out the $1 bills. Honestly, I could have afforded the $20 and my heart said this man really needed it. While the man was very grateful, I never felt right about not giving him the $20, as it surely would have bought him several meals instead of one. He kept his eyes fixated on me as he left the subway car at the next stop, and it was as if he said, "Thank you for your compassion for me. I know there's a $20 bill in your wallet but at least you gave this." I vowed then and there not to listen to those "second-thoughts" or rationalize my own reasons why I couldn't give more and to give straight from my heart in the future.
Since that day, my children and I were never the same and we have never forgotten that man. When we speak of him, we get chills and a slight tear in our eyes in remembering that day and wondering what became of him. I actually saw a public service announcement for a New York City organization that provides housing to the homeless and honestly thought I saw him on it. Perhaps it was my guilt from not giving that $20; or my hope that he would still be alive and someone else did care but it really did look like him. I cannot forget those eyes!
The entire experience of how we were so touched by his soul gave me a new outlook toward beggars. No longer do I listen to anyone's judgments, opinions or disapprovals about giving: I just give from my heart. And I vowed that if ever am in a similar situation again where I'm faced with deciding how much to give out of my wallet, I will give as much as I can.
Just this past week I was in one of the Times Square subway entrances and there was a man with a sign that said he needed $9. The sign was big and probably explained more about why he needed $9, but I didn't bother to read it all. I listened to my heart and it said to pull out whatever bill came out of my wallet and give it to him. So I pulled a bill and saw that it was a $20 bill and gave it to the man.
He was very surprised and said "God bless you!" and continued to tell me that he is just looking for work. He went on to explain that he is a carpenter who is out of work, while giving me a piece of paper with his name and email on it to tell everyone I know. So I am telling everyone I know. I have no clue how good he is at his trade, but I know if I were in that situation, I would be praying for someone to help me.
So I will continue to give from my heart. Maybe it's true that some people will use the money for drugs, alcohol, tobacco or for some other "unnecessary" item. But I have purposefully decided that it really isn't up to me to judge them. I give out of love, out of a genuine concern for them as human beings, out of an awareness that my life is so abundant and that there is so much to give! It is in the spirit of love and compassion that I give and I feel from people that it is in this same spirit they receive it: from my heart to theirs. I have found that by listening to my heart, I know what to do.
So the next time you see a beggar on the street, instead of trying to figure out if the person is there for what you feel are "legitimate" reasons, or to think about how much money you cannot spare, why not ask your heart what to do?
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Hi Barbara, this is a very encouraging story. One I struggled with for quite sometime because of an experience I had as a young child. My mom was single and we were always short on cash...etc. Anyway, my mom gave to this seemingly frail woman in front of mcdonalds. She gave telling us its always good to help even when you don't have much yourself. Problem was, after my mom gave her everything she had, we watched this little old lady ( I was a kid so old is relative) jump into her nice black car and drive away. We didn't even have a car. we walked everywhere. That image never left me and put a bad taste into my mouth into adulthood. But then I learned as God changed me that it is not for us to judge--sometimes there are reasons not to give, but we are never to resist if we feel our heart speaking. Each person will have to answer for their own actions and you are right not to let others sway what you are doing. Thanks again for sharing this story.Teresa, Thanks for sharing your personal story. Your "we are never to resist if we feel our heart speaking" says it all. Warmly, Barbara
Barbara, I enjoyed reading this article. I agree with your summary closing. I know I cannot buy my way into heaven. I believe what the Bible says it takes to get there. I also know I cannot give more than God or His son at no time, ever. So, give, give, give is what I try to do. As you've said, I don't try to figure out what will be done with my gift, my heart says to give. Sometimes the gift is direct and others indirectly given but giving from the heart is what matters. A wonderful article!Avis, Thanks so much for your encouragement and feedback. I really appreciate it. Warmly, Barbara
This is a good, encouraging and uplifting write. It truly is sad to see someone homeless. But as in all walks of life there are those who abuse and cause more problems for those in need. As an example: A few years ago I was travelling with my family from Los Angeles to Las Vegas by car. We stopped to eat at a fast-food place called Popeye's. (We don't have those in Canada and I love them). A lady approached us holding a cup of ice and said that was all she had to eat and needed money. I told her that we were going into Popeye's to eat and if she came in, we would buy her anything and as much as she wanted. I told her she could sit with us, but if she didn't feel comfortable with that, we would still buy her a lunch and she could sit by herself. Her answer was that she wanted to go to McDonald's (which was just on the other side of the parking lot). I told her that we wanted to go to Popeye's and the offer was still valid if she wanted to join us there. At that point she swore at us and walked away.I saw a documentary a while back about a journalist in Toronto who wanted to experience street-life, so he put five dollars in his pocket and went to live on the streets for one week. He befriended many street-people and learned from them how to make money on the street and how to live in groups for protection. At the end of the week he had over one hundred dollars in his pocket. When his new friends from the street found out how much he had made, they laughed. They told him that they made at least six hundred dollars a week and if he couldn't make at least that much he was doing it all wrong.David, Thanks for commenting here. I appreciate your feedback. I experienced a similar situation when I lived in Spain (and used to believe that if someone didn't accept the food, they must not really need it). I've since changed my mind about how I view it all and don't worry about how they'll spend whatever I give.
I've seen some documentaries, too, and I believe that not everyone who is homeless is from the same situation or experiences the same needs. I also know that some people begging may have a home (not everyone is homeless). But I choose not to judge any of that and follow my heart. If it's that important to them to ask for help in that manner, I choose to believe they must need it. What I'm trying to say is that I don't worry about analyzing it, judging it: I just give when my heart moves me. Warmly, Barbara
Barbara,Thanks for sharing this! But I have one question pertaining to this statement: "giving me a piece of paper with his name and email on it to tell everyone I know. So I am telling everyone I know..."- So, what's the info?Ronyae, Thanks for bringing this up! I was going to put the man's information in this article, but I thought it may violate the rules for SearchWarp, as it's not supposed to be used for commercial purposes. If you'd like his information, please email me and I'll send it to you. If the owners of SearchWarp comment here that it's ok to post, I'll go ahead and post it for the world wide web to see!
I plan to blog about it on my blog eventually..Just haven't gotten around to it yet. Probably this weekend. And I'll do a timely "tweet" on Twitter about it, too. Warmly, Barbara
I had chills up and down my arms when I read your very inspirational words.God Bless you.Donavan,
Thanks for your feedback and encouragement. Warmly, Barbara
Barbara:I enjoyed reading this article.I have wondered myself about this person and then another.If we worry about "what others may think" then by todays standard its whats in it for me. Belive me I help at a shelter off and on and a lot of people are just one paycheck away from pennyless.Thank againDoris, Thank you so much for your feedback and insights. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Warmly, Barbara
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